Waiting to Exhale... and Inhale... and Exhale again... and Inhale... and Exhale...

We’ve been going for our obgyn visits twice monthly. The closer we get to the Estimated Due Date (EDD), the more often the visits will be. My EDD was set at 17 November 2006.

During our last visit, the doctor discussed with us a variety of things.
The options for pain management, the role of the father during labor and the EDD.

Options for Pain Management

My mom has always been against epidurals. She’s strongly suggested that I don’t opt for one and go for the gas instead. But my friends and cousins, who have taken epidurals, swear by them.
Being the filial daughter that I am, I’m gonna listen to my mom on this one. BUT I’m not ruling out epidurals altogether.
If the situation demands for an epidural, I’m all for it.

Role of the Father during Labor

Initially, we thought that Wan would be in the labor room with me.
Egging me on, helping to count the contractions and being my pillar of strength. After much deliberation, we’ve opened our eyes to reality – Wan is not the kind of man who should be allowed in the labor room.
At the risk of making my darling sound like a wuss… Wan faints at the sight of blood. Even a single drop. And when I say ‘faints’, I MEAN faint... The kind of fainting that women in the Victorian days used to do, before being revived with smelling salts.

He once stubbed his toe on an umbrella stand in the pasar malam and at the sight of his (slightly) bloodied toe; he promptly fainted, leaving his 3 buddies with the gargantuan task of carrying him home.
So yes, as tough and macho as Wan can be, he should not be permitted to join me in the labor room.

Our doctor had forewarned him “Wan, if you faint or collapse in hysteria during the labor, we will not help you, okay. Terbaringlah awak kat lantai tu...”That settled it.
There’s no way I can concentrate on bringing my baby into the world when my BIG Baby is lying in heap on the labor room floor.

The Estimated Due Date (EDD)

Speaking of big babies...
During the last ultrasound scan, our dear doctor gave us a slight scare.
She started the ultrasound machine and when her eyes fell on the screen, a look of comical alarm spread on her face.
“That’s a BIG BABY” she exclaimed.
Ignoring our wide-eyed distress, she proceeded to measure the baby’s head.

“Uhm... maybe my measurements are wrong, I’ll do it again” she says.
By this time, Wan & I were staring at each other with wide-eyed anxiety.
After the second measuring, she turned to me and grinned, “Yes, he’s very big... We may have to move up your labor date.”

The mommy in me immediately bombarded the dear doctor with questions:
“What do you mean, ‘very big’?”
“You just told me I lost weight since the last check-up! How can my baby be BIG?”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Is that a BAD thing?”
“Is he gonna be alright?”
“What’s going ON herrrreee?”

The doctor chuckled at my distress and smilingly reassured me that everything was fine. She explained that even though the mommy may have lost weight, the baby is speedily gaining it. She told me that the baby was probably big because... well... his parents are big.
(Gee, thanks for THAT news update).

After completing the entire check-up and confirming that mommy and baby were doing well, we sat down at her table and eagerly awaited the doctors explanation.

“Okay... The baby’s fine. He’s a big baby, but that’s fine. We MAY have to plan ahead though, in case his growth rate continues like this. You’ll have one more check-up with me before raya… and then after raya, we have another one. If, during that check-up, we find that the baby is growing even bigger... we may want to consider inducing labor.”

“Inducing labor???”

“Yes. By that time, the baby will be in his 37th week. It’s perfectly safe for him to be born then, we need not wait till his EDD.”

“After raya???”

“Yes. But ONLY if I foresee that he’ll be too big for normal labor if we wait for the EDD.”

“Too big for normal labor???”

“Yes, if he gets too big for normal labor, we’d have to opt for a C-section. So it’s better if we induce him earlier for a normal birth.”

“OOooo... okay.”

So, there you go.
Our Little Wan (who’s not so little after all...) MAY be welcomed into the world a little earlier than expected. We’re fine with that.
As long as he’s a normal, healthy, happy baby boy, we’re thankful.

I know I’ll miss having him tumbling around in my belly... but I certainly am very excited to finally meet my baby face to face.

You’ll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're ever gonna shake me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby (Mr. Dupri Mix)

Grandmother - a wonderful mother with lots of practice. Judith Levy

I’m a terrible mommy-blogger, aren’t I?

It’s been ages since I’ve updated my blogs.
There’s just SO much to tell!

I’ve had four checkups with my obgyn since the last time I wrote and all of ‘em were memorable.
Wan & I invited our mothers to come with us for the checkups.
And we’re so glad we did.
They each went on different occasions though, to meet their grandson.

Mikhail meets Nana (Mediha’s Mama)
I had sms’ed my mom a few weeks before the appointment, asking whether she’d like to join us in our appointment to see little Mikhail.
Mom answered “Thought you’d never ask, I’d love to!”

So, all three of us went to the doctor’s office on the day of the appointment.

Mom was excited because this is the first time she gets to see her grandchild onscreen.
Wan was excited because he still refused to believe that his child is a BOY and wanted the doctor to reconfirm.
I was excited because...well, I always get excited when I’m about to see Mikhail again. (You see, I had no doubts about his gender...the boy already showed his stuff whatttt).

Our doctor is also mom’s gynae, so after the usual friendly chit-chat, I hopped onto the bed (okay la...‘Hop’ is not the word...‘Clambered’ is more like it) and in a few minutes, the little wan was on the screen.

“Oh my” said the doctor “Look at that”.
She pointed to this big thingy on the screen.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“He’s showing-off his...uhm...manhood”
And on the screen, little macho-man Mikhail spread his legs akimbo.

((( squeals from the ladies )))

“Besarrnyerrr...” (To spare the speaker from embarrassment, I won’t disclose who blurted that out)

“Hah, B... are you satisfied now?” I said to my husband.

Wan stood there with his camera-phone fixed on his son’s family-jewels and had this huge foolish grin plastered on his face.

“No question about it, dear. It’s a boy” I say, while the doctor nodded her assent.

After that little brouhaha, we then concentrated on the baby’s other organs. As if knowing that the show was over, Mikhail promptly crossed his legs again.

“He says enough is enough” smiled the doctor.

She conducted the ultrasound and took measurements like she usually does. She gave us the assuring news that the baby was doing splendidly and everything was going fine.

While she was doing that, the rest of us were enraptured by the sight of the growing baby in my tummy.
As if relishing in the attention, Mikhail raised his hands and positioned it behind his head.
So this was the pose he gave to his Nana – legs crossed, hands behind his head… As if saying, ‘Yes, serve me, dear lady, for I am His Royal Highness Sultan Wan Mikhail’.

My mom played the role of concerned-grandma perfectly.
“Is this ultrasound thing safe for the baby?”
“In the old days, we didn’t have this kind of thing... are you sure it’s not dangerous?”
“Ish... poor baby, we are invading his privacy in there.”

I just HAD to smile at mom’s anxious fretting.
She’s always had a kind-heart and is the quintessential Mother Bear who is very protective of her cubs.
Mikhail’s definitely going to be pampered by his Nana.
And I know he’s going to love her just as much as his Mommy does.

Mikhail meets Nani (Wan’s Mami)
When we asked Mami whether she would like to come for our next obgyn appointment, we were greeted with an enthusiastic “Boleh! Bila?”

Wan’s Mami is the archetypal Matron – she has been a dental matron for a very long time.
She’s a very firm, assertive woman and though she loves her children like all mothers do, she’s more of a Tigress than a Mother Bear.

As luck would have it, our regular obgyn was on Emergency Leave on the day of our appointment. In her place, was another lady-doctor. Not as friendly as Dr. Fauziah, but sufficiently courteous.
In fact, she reminded me a lot of Mami herself!

The visit was quite short, compared to our previous visits. But what made it memorable was little Mikhail’s pose when the ultrasound screen first lit up.
He had his little fists curled-up tight and his arms in a defensive pose in front of his face! He looked like a fetal version of Bruce Lee!

Wan’s Mami was taken aback at first, I guess she was expecting him to be in the normal fetal position...
Then a bemused smile spread over her face. She seemed very much pleased.
She told us ‘He’s probably sending me a message... Whatever you can dish out, grandma, I can handle’.
Heheheheh
Tough Nani meets tough, little grandson.

I’m glad we took our mothers to the ultrasound scans. Made us feel all warm and fuzzy inside, knowing that our son will be showered (and smothered) with grandmotherly love...

Both the coddling and the tough kind.

It is as grandmothers that our mothers come into the fullness of their grace. Christopher Morley