7 Months & A Big Change

First thing’s first… MIKHAIL IS 7 MONTHS OLD TODAY!
My littlewan is really growing up so fast.
Wan (the big one) can’t wait for Mikhail to be bigger – walking, talking, playing in the park etc.
But for me, I think time is flying fast enough. I’m enjoying every single second of little baby Mikhail and though I know I’ll enjoy little toddler Mikhail too, I’m just happy savoring the moments right now.

A lot of things have been happening since I last updated.

For one thing, and it’s a major one, I ceased my membership of the Stay-At-Home-Mom’s Club. I had 6 wonderful, memorable months with my baby at home. 6 months of bonding and on-demand-breastfeeding. 6 months of having a baby as my Boss. 6 months of no salary but being paid by gummy smiles and warm hugs. 6 months of thoroughly enjoying my firstborn child. And I have to thank my husband for being so understanding and considerate in giving me the opportunity to be a SAHM for that long. Having the entire financial responsibility on his shoulders must have been scary for him. But Wan was splendid and I will forever be grateful to him for the time I got to spend with Mikhail in his early months.

Do I miss being a SAHM?
Of course.

Among the many things I miss are:-

The lazy mornings. Waking up to the coos and gurgles of my son and just cuddling with him until we were both ready to get up and seize the day. On some mornings, we’d both be up in time to send the Daddy off to work. After waving goodbye, we’d both jump back into bed and play.

The games we played. Pop-Goes-The-Weasel, Peekaboo!, Tickle-tickle… the usual. Hearing the deep gurgle of his laughter and his high-pitched giggling was always the highlight of my day.

The Nursing-on-Demand. Mom’s Café was open 24-7. Anytime Mikhail wanted to nurse, either for a meal or a snack, I was there to indulge him. We could be watching tv or splashing by the pool but if he showed signs of wanting to nurse, tadahh! Bon Appetit, baby!
Now, if anyone wants to point fingers at me and accuse me of ‘taking Mikhail down the Road of Obesity… Bring it on, buster. The pediatrician is happy with his growth and development. My son is a happy, healthy baby which makes ME, a happy, healthy mother. So there.

The Outings. A Stay-At-Home-Mom does not necessarily stay at home the whole day. Mikhail and I had several window-shopping excursions (which resulted in several items being purchased for the former). We accompanied Gramma on her various trips to the nearby shops. On nice afternoons, we strolled around the block and looked at the sights. We had splashing and swimming sessions in the pool. And whenever Daddy missed us too much, he’d come home to pick us up and take us for a ride while he did his work around KL.

The Naps. Ahh… the naps... Mikhail is a big napper. Afternoon naptimes are the best. Especially when it’s raining outside. Mikhail and I would be spread-eagled on the bed, snoring away happily.

The Mommy&Mikhail Welcoming Committee. It was always a pleasure to greet Wan arriving home from work. Sometimes he’d catch us off-guard and peek in to see me and Mikhail in midst tickle or singing songs. “Bestnyer, balik suasana macam ni” he once said, when he peeped in the room and saw his wife and son lolling about on the bed, reading a book. The joy of having all three of us together again was always something to look forward to every day.

How did it feel; having to say goodbye to baby on the 1st day of work?
Horrible.
Guilt guilt guilt.
Sad sad sad.
Horrible horrible HORRIBLE!

It was quite traumatic…
For the Mommy.
Lots of tears were shed…
By the Mommy.

Mikhail was quite contented in his Gramma’s arms, waving goodbye to us as we drove out of the driveway.
But the Mommy…

After kissing him for the millionth time that morning, I got in the car and stared at his precious little face as Wan drove out of the driveway. He was looking directly at me with his big eyes staring and his mouth in a semi-pout. It’s like he was saying ‘But, where are YOU going, Mommy?’

The second we got out of the driveway and I could no longer see him, I burst into sobs. SOBS, mind you, not tears.

Wan was completely flabbergasted. He tried to console me but I was inconsolable.

After a few minutes, I regained my composure and was okay again.
I mean, the baby will be fine in my mom’s care. Gramma dotes on the little guy and he’ll have the time of his life with her. And the maid is around to assist and all so… he’s in good hands. It was just the act of ending my SAHM-status that got to me. No more 24-7 with Mikhail. But I should count my blessings… 6 months is a pretty long time. And as a Working Mom, I’ll be sure to savor and utilize every single precious minute that I have with my son.

How’s it been so far, Working Mommy?
So far so good.

I no longer go to work with a tear-stained face.
My heart does not ache as much as it did the first week, though it still aches, especially when I give him his goodbye hug&kiss.
I don’t bug my mom for updates as much as I used to. Though I still do expect the occasional sms and lunchtime calls.

And there are many things I look forward to, as a Working Mommy:-

-The huge big gummy grin on his face the second he sees me come home.
-Him reaching his arms towards me while excitedly grunting his pleasure in seeing me.
-Our reunion-nursing-session that has to occur immediately after I get home.
-Giving him his warm bath in the evening and dressing him up in his cozy pajamas.
-The playtime and sing-along time we have together before bedtime.

I even look forward to all the extra work that I have to do as a Working Mommy.

At night, after Mikhail is asleep, I will head to the kitchen to prepare for the next day. All bottles and the breastpump will be washed and sterilized. The ingredients for his lunch will be prepared (cut up carrots, ginger, potatoes, chicken etc, depends on the menu). I’ll wash his eating utensils in warm soapy water (the maid already washed these but… well, paranoid freak mommy just wants to make sure they’re really clean). I’ll check on his ration of EBM (expressed breastmilk). The icepacks must be ready in the freezer. Then I’ll head back to the bedroom to lay out his clothes for tomorrow along with his toys, books and daily nappy-ration.

The next morning, I’ll wake up a little bit earlier to get ready for the day. I’ll head to the kitchen to measure out his rice for the porridge, wash and mix in the rice and the ingredients all into Mikhail’s slow cooker. I’ll set it on ‘low’ so that it’ll be ready just in time for lunch. Then I’ll pack the items for pumping into my bag and place it by the door (forgot it once and the pain of engorgement was a great reminder for me never to forget again). Then I’ll measure out 3 portions of formula powder into the powder dispenser (yes, Mikhail takes half-and-half now… Half EBM, half formula). Then I’ll give the maid her daily instructions and head to the room to get ready for work. If Mikhail is up (and he usually is), we’ll spend some time playing before we give him his bath; usually he’ll join Daddy in the shower.

Sometimes Mikhail will wave goodbye while in Gramma’s arms, but I very much prefer to say goodbye to him in the house, while he’s slightly distracted by his toys. It’s much easier for me to leave him in the house than having to see his ‘where-are-you-going-Mommy’ face while we drive off.

So yeah… A lot of things have changed since last month. I’m a working mommy now and we’re all adapting well into our new roles. I have to admit that despite missing my baby, I love getting back to work (especially since my new job is a lot more fun than my old one) and I still absolutely love being a mommy.

Life goes on… and all is well :)


Mikhail & Mommy


Mikhail & Daddy


The Face We Wake Up To Every Morning Before Work